1. Q: Did you know that the Post Office just recalled their
Manchester United Treble commemorative stamps.
A: People couldn't figure out whichside to spit on.

2. Q: A man meets his friend and sees that his car is a total write-off and covered with leaves,
grass, branches, dirt and blood.
He asks his friend, "What happened to your car?"
A1: "Well," the friend replies, "I ran over David Beckham".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood.... But what about the leaves,
the grass, the branches and the dirt?".
A2: "Well, he got back up and tried to escape through the park"

3. Q: What do you have when 100 Manchester United fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

4. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead Manchester United fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks infront of the dog, where the driver tried to stop.

5. Q: What do Manchester United fans use for birth control?
A: Their Personalities.

6. Q: You're Trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester United fan.
You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the United Fan.... Twice

7. Q: If you recieve an e-mail with a Manchester United Virus,
A: Your PC develops a disorder whereby the memory forgets everything before 1993.
Except 1968